Our role as parents, or future parents, is quite confusing; In general, we have no idea how to help our partner during the pregnancy, delivery and the first days or weeks of the baby; we embarrass the woman and henceforth we have nothing to do as pregnancy progresses independently of our presence: whether we are pregnant or not, pregnancy will end, we are not necessary …

We are not necessary from a biological point of view but we definitely play a very important role from a personal, family and social point of view. Our baby’s growth may not depend on us, but our presence, help and support can make the whole reproductive process ideal: without complications, without anguish, a process happily lived and desired. Let’s see some things we can do to integrate our partner and make it “our pregnancy, childbirth and upbringing”

recommendations

• Get involved: accompany your partner to your prenatal or preconceptional consultations. Meet your doctor. At the end of the day it is who is going to be responsible for the health of your child. You would not put your life in the hands of someone you do not know! It is not necessary that you attend all of them, but it feels very good when you attend some of importance
• Find information and learn: read, attend conferences, watch television programs and ask those who already have experience. In this way you can have information about what your partner feels, their changes, the development of your baby, how to feel useful, know what the future holds, etc. Nowadays this is very simple thanks to Internet, in fact this page was created precisely for that. Warning: although friends and family can give their opinions with all the best intentions in the world many times the concepts are wrong and can generate anguish and setbacks in the parents, whenever you have questions, seek professional and suitable help. You can contact us.
• Plan: the organization of the aspects related to your partner and the baby should be considered in advance. Consider what changes must be made in the environment to make pregnancy a more comfortable period for a pregnant woman (heavy, sleepy, sometimes clumsy, accidents must be avoided) and prepare time for the baby’s room and all their belongings and clothes. Discuss family finances to organize the proper use of available resources. There are many things to pay and the succession is endless from now on. Purchases should be made rationally, avoid buying like crazy because experience dictates that up to 25% of the things that were purchased were never used. Take advantage of “donations” from family and friends. Remember that babies grow so fast that clothes sometimes only used them once or never because they stopped being their size
• Consider your partner: you should always bear in mind that pregnancy produces severe changes in the functioning of a woman’s body, both physical and psychological. Hormones, extremely high, generate changes in behavior and affectivity, make them more susceptible and melancholic, sometimes disorganized, anguished; other times euphoric, other sad … have patience try to understand your partner, be understanding and let your partner know that you are there, that you will give him all the support he needs. The female libido can increase considerably during pregnancy, do not be afraid of sex during pregnancy, nothing happens to the baby if the pregnancy is normal.
• Help your partner stay healthy: give support in your attempt to eliminate inappropriate conditions such as the use of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, poor diet, etc. Remind her of the importance of attending her medical check-ups, following directions and taking her medications. As part of the effort you can limit your use of cigarettes and alcohol and eat healthy so that she feels your support and solidarity.
• Maintain sexuality: if there are no contraindications, sexuality can continue throughout the pregnancy as long as they wish; If your partner feels rejection towards sex, the best way to reach an agreement is to discuss it openly, we must understand that pregnancy is not an easy situation for women and that sometimes there is exhaustion, discomfort, vaginal dryness and sometimes total absence of sexual desire. We must be understanding and patient
• Be a couple: being a couple is being a complement to another, honor commitment and be present so that your partner feels supported at all times. The pregnant woman does not ask you to spend all day with her, she only needs to know herself loved, understood and supported
• Start being a father before the baby is born: being a father before your baby is born is achieved by getting involved in the development of your child, attending the controls, gently exploring your partner’s abdomen (the baby is touched and feel easily after week 26) and especially watching your child live during sonographic studies. You may not understand anything but you can always see that little thing moving inside the belly, a little hand, a foot, the face … ask your doctor to explain what you are seeing so you can understand the study and really enjoy it. 3D ultrasound has helped us a lot to teach the baby to parents and other family members and friends.

“I can not conceive any important need during a child’s childhood that the need to feel protected by a father”

Sigmund Freud

The role of dad

Our essence as parents is inscribed in our own personality and the development of our children is intimately related to it. Although the personality of the child will have a certain independent structure, its development will be mainly influenced by the daily actions of its parents: a virtuous home (a tendency to decide regularly for good) and a structured one that will teach socially more appropriate values ??than one where such things do not exist. Son of cat hunting mouse, they say !. Of course, for a father with a delinquent tendency, these indications will be inappropriate, but in my honest world I think that those who read this also are.

According to Erikson there are 7 tasks that allow parents to guarantee the welfare of their offspring:

1. Personal success: a parent strongly involved with the welfare of their children will try to make their best work decisions to ensure the satisfaction of all their children’s needs.
2. Provider: the father will provide his children with the things that he needs besides helping them to develop tools that make them independent.
3. Support: it is based on the presence of the father to help his children in moments of important changes in the life of the child or their environment (family losses, physiological changes of the child, changes in the group of friends, changes …)
4. Recreation: is the promotion of relaxation, enjoyment and learning through the game. Competitiveness should be taught, but at healthy levels that do not generate stress or frustrations, remember that we have different capacities.
5. Spirituality: development of values ??and beliefs that help you in your way through the changes of life: advice, education, knowledge of your being, self-esteem, self-esteem, belonging …
6. Socialization: stimulates your children to relate properly with other people: games, talks, team work, friendships, and even defense against aggression.
7. Tutorial: teaches new ideas and respects theirs, corrects mistakes and guides new and varied interests. Duties and rights. Disciplines, punishments and rewards without excess.